Which Season Are You In?
START HEREThe right support depends on where you are in your relationship journey.
Whether you’re dating, healing from a breakup, navigating a relationship, understanding your attachment style, or learning to thrive on your own, there’s a path designed for you.
Not Sure Where To Start?
Take the 2-minute quiz and get a personalized recommendation.
Explore Coaching Paths
Choose the path that best fits your season.
Attachment Coaching
Understand the patterns driving your relationships and create lasting change from the inside out.
Overthinking relationships
Fear of abandonment
Repeating the dating patterns
Build more secure relationships
Dating With Discernment
Date with clarity and confidence so you can build a relationship that’s truly right for you.
Stop confusing chemistry with compatibility
Set healthy dating standards
Choose with confidence
Date with self-respect
Breakup Reset
Stop analyzing every text, replaying every conversation, and wondering what went wrong.
Give yourself the closure you didn't get
Process grief and heartbreak
Stop overthinking the breakup
Move forward with clarity
Relationship Coaching
For individuals or couples who want to strengthen their relationship and break unhealthy patterns.
Stop having the same argument on repeat
Emotional disconnection
Trust & intimacy
Thriving Solo
Build a life you love and become your most confident, fulfilled self - on your own terms.
Deepen self-worth
Create a life you love
Build supportive habits
Thrive in your own company
Not Sure Which Path Fits?
Many people see themselves in more than one area.
If you're unsure where to start, we'll figure it out together on our clarity call.
Common Relationship Challenges We Help With
No matter where you are in your relationship journey, these are some of the most common struggles people bring to coaching.
Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people?
Why do I get attached so quickly?
Why do I always end up in situationships?
Why do I overthink relationships?
Why do I obsess over texts and mixed signals?
Why do I keep falling for the wrong people?
Why do healthy relationships feel boring?
Why do I lose interest when someone likes me back?
Why do I keep repeating the same dating patterns?
How do I stop chasing unavailable partners?
How do I heal anxious attachment?
Why am I afraid of abandonment?
How do I stop needing constant reassurance?
Why do I struggle to trust people?
Why do I feel anxious even in good relationships?
How do I become more secure in relationships?
How do I build self-worth without relying on a partner?
How do I know if I'm in the right relationship?
How do I communicate my needs without feeling needy?
Why do I sabotage healthy relationships?
How do I create healthier relationships going forward?
How do I stop people-pleasing in relationships?
How do I create a secure, lasting relationship?
How do I stop settling for less than I want?
Why am I still single after therapy?
Why do I understand my patterns but still repeat them?
How do I stop overanalyzing every interaction?
How do I move on after heartbreak?
How do I finally break old relationship patterns?
If you've found yourself asking any of these questions, you're not alone.
The goal isn't just to understand your patterns intellectually - it's to create real change in how you date, relate, communicate, and connect.
That's exactly what these coaching paths are designed to help you do.
Why Understanding Isn't Always Enough
Maybe you’ve already spent years trying to understand yourself.
You've read the books.
You've listened to the podcasts.
You've done the therapy.
You've reflected on your patterns.
Yet many people discover that insight alone doesn't automatically create change.
The goal isn't just understanding why the pattern exists.
The goal is learning how to respond differently when the pattern shows up in real time.
That's where coaching can help.
MEET YOUR COACHHi, I’m Dr. Lindsay O’Shea
I'm a clinical psychologist, former matchmaker, and adjunct professor teaching Love, Dating & Modern Matchmaking at the University of San Diego.
I help ambitious, growth-oriented people understand their attachment patterns and build healthier relationships. Many of my clients come to me after years of therapy, self-help books, podcasts, and personal growth work - still wondering why the same patterns keep showing up.
Together, we'll identify what's keeping you stuck and create a plan that fits where you are right now.
Frequently Asked Questions About Coaching Paths
-
If you're unsure where to start, you're not alone. Most people arrive here knowing they're stuck in a pattern but not knowing exactly why.
In general:
Dating& Relationship Coaching is best if you're actively dating, navigating a relationship, or trying to build healthier connections.
Breakup Reset Coaching is best if you're recovering from heartbreak, struggling to move on, or finding yourself stuck after a relationship ended.
Thriving Solo Coaching is best if you want to build a fulfilling life on your own terms, strengthen your sense of self, increase confidence, and create a life that feels meaningful and aligned—whether or not a relationship is part of the picture.
Attachment-Focused Coaching is best if you keep repeating the same relationship patterns, feel anxious or avoidant in relationships, or want to understand yourself at a deeper level.
You don’t need to have all the answers to get started. Book your free, 20-minute clarity call and we can figure it out together.
-
Therapy focuses on diagnosing and treating mental health concerns, processing past experiences, and addressing psychological symptoms.
Coaching focuses on helping you create change in the present and move toward specific goals.
Many clients come to coaching because they feel emotionally healthy overall but want support navigating dating, relationships, attachment patterns, boundaries, communication, or life transitions.
Coaching is educational, action-oriented, and growth-focused.
You don’t have to figure it out alone, though - I can help! Book your free, 20-minute clarity call and we can figure out the best fit for you.
-
Not at all!
Many clients are single and dating, but others are in relationships, situationships, engaged, married, recovering from a breakup, or trying to decide whether a relationship is right for them.
Healthy relationships start with healthy relationship skills - and those skills matter whether you're dating, partnered, or rebuilding after heartbreak.
-
Yes, this is where my coaching thrives!
Many people don't intentionally choose unhealthy relationships. Instead, they unknowingly repeat familiar patterns shaped by attachment, past experiences, beliefs about love, or relationship habits.
Coaching helps you identify those patterns, understand why they keep showing up, and learn how to make different choices moving forward.
The goal isn't just finding a partner - it's building healthier relationships.
-
Insight is important, but insight alone rarely creates change.
Many high-achieving, self-aware people know exactly what's happening in their relationships yet continue finding themselves in the same situations.
Coaching bridges the gap between awareness and action by helping you apply what you know in real-life dating and relationship situations.
-
Yes. Attachment coaching is one of the core coaching paths offered through Modern Attachment.
Attachment coaching helps you understand the patterns, beliefs, and relationship habits that may be keeping you stuck in dating, relationships, or life after a breakup. Together, we'll identify what's driving those patterns and build practical tools for creating healthier, more secure connections.
Whether you're single, dating, healing from heartbreak, or navigating a relationship, attachment coaching can help you develop greater self-awareness, emotional security, and relationship confidence.
-
Absolutely!
Many clients come to coaching because they struggle with overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, relationship anxiety, or difficulty trusting themselves in dating.
Coaching helps you develop greater emotional security, stronger boundaries, healthier communication, and more confidence in your relationships.
The goal isn't to become someone different - it's to build a more secure relationship with yourself and others.
Learn more about anxious attachment and tools that can help.
-
Yes.
Many people with avoidant tendencies want connection but feel overwhelmed by vulnerability, emotional intimacy, dependence, or commitment.
Coaching can help you understand these patterns, develop emotional awareness, improve communication, and create relationships that feel both connected and authentic.
-
That's often the best time to do this work.
Many people wait until they're in a relationship crisis before addressing patterns. Coaching allows you to build self-awareness, confidence, boundaries, and relationship skills before your next relationship begins.
The healthiest relationships are often built long before you meet the right person.
-
The timeline depends on your goals and the coaching path you choose.
Some clients come for short-term support around a specific challenge, while others work together over several months to create deeper, lasting change.
During your clarity call, we'll discuss your goals and determine the best approach for your situation.
-
No, the purpose of coaching is not to tell you what decision to make.
Instead, coaching helps you gain clarity, understand your patterns, strengthen your decision-making skills, and make choices that align with your values and long-term goals.
The goal is helping you trust yourself - not become dependent on someone else's opinion.
-
For many people, this is exactly why coaching is helpful.
Information is everywhere. Transformation happens when you apply that information to your specific situation.
Coaching provides personalized guidance, accountability, feedback, and support that generic advice cannot.
Many clients come in feeling like they've "done all the work" and leave with a clearer understanding of what's been keeping them stuck.
-
Every person is different, but common outcomes include:
Greater relationship confidence
Less overthinking and anxiety
Stronger boundaries
Improved communication skills
Healthier dating decisions
Increased self-trust
More secure attachment patterns
Greater clarity about relationships
Faster recovery after heartbreak
More fulfilling and intentional connections
The goal isn't perfection. It's helping you create relationships that feel healthier, more secure, and more aligned with the life you're trying to build.
Let’s get started! Book your free, 20-minute clarity call now.
-
Maybe? But the goal isn’t to tell you what to do - it’s to help you understand why the urge exists and make decisions that are aligned with your values, rather than all the feels.
People have reported fewer impulse urges to reach out and more mental clarity over time.
-
Yes. I provide dating coaching, relationship coaching, breakup coaching, and attachment-focused coaching for clients throughout California, including San Diego, Los Angeles, Orange County, San Francisco, and beyond.
Coaching is conducted virtually, allowing you to get support from wherever you live. While many of my clients are based in California, I also work with clients throughout the United States.
Many of my clients are ambitious, self-aware professionals who are successful in other areas of life but feel stuck when it comes to dating, relationships, attachment patterns, or finding a healthy partnership.
You've built a career, a life, and a version of yourself you're proud of. If dating still feels confusing, frustrating, or like the one area that won't click, you're exactly the kind of person I work with.
Whether you're struggling with dating burnout, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, relationship uncertainty, heartbreak, or recurring relationship patterns, coaching can help you develop the insight, skills, and confidence needed to create healthier, more fulfilling connections.
If you're unsure which coaching path is right for you, start with a consultation and we'll identify the best next step together.
-
Attachment style coaching is a psychology-informed approach that helps you understand how your early experiences, relationship history, and emotional patterns influence the way you connect with others today.
Many people know they have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, but struggle to translate that knowledge into real change.
Attachment coaching goes beyond simply identifying your attachment style. It focuses on helping you:
Recognize relationship patterns as they happen
Understand emotional triggers and reactions
Develop healthier communication skills
Build self-trust and emotional security
Create more fulfilling, stable relationships
The goal isn't just insight - it's lasting change.
Popular Coaching Topics
Explore resources, coaching, and tools for healthier relationships.
Ready For Something Different?
Whether you're dating, healing from a breakup, navigating a relationship, or learning how to thrive on your own, we'll find the path that fits where you are right now.
A Quick Note Before You Begin
Modern Attachment is a psychology-informed coaching and educational program designed to help you better understand yourself, your patterns, and your relationships.
While the work is grounded in psychological principles, coaching is not psychotherapy and does not include mental health diagnosis, treatment, or clinical care. Participation in Modern Attachment does not establish psychologist-patient relationship.
Looking for Therapy Instead?
If you're looking for therapy or mental health treatment, we encourage you to connect with a licensed mental health professional in your area. Psychology Today can be a helpful place to begin your search.
Need immediate support? Call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.